Writing a Eulogy for Mother
Helping Others Deal with the Loss of a Loved One

Not knowing how to write a eulogy for your mother can be stressful.  You have been asked to sum up all that a person was at their funeral.  It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and like you aren’t worthy of writing the speech.  But you are giving the speech for a reason.  You were close to the deceased.  It is an honor to be asked to do the eulogy, because that means that others felt you had a special connection.

But that doesn’t help you write the speech.  Here are some tips:

Write for the Crowd

You are not the only one who has lost someone.  The speech is meant to be a comfort to those who surrounded the deceased, your words acting as a form of closure.  As such you should

• Tell a Heartwarming Story About the Deceased. You probably have fond memories of some event that you experienced with your mother.  It could be her taking you to the movies when you were a child, her comforting you in a time of loss, or that time that she accidentally set the kitchen on fire.  The goal of the story is to act as a summary of her personality, encapsulating what she was in a way that the audience can relate to.

• Try to avoid any stories that might offend any audience members.  Everyone is under a great deal of stress and there is no reason to make it harder on them.  If you think that some of the audience will be offended by the story, don’t tell it.  There is a whole life from which to draw another story.

• Read a poem or sing a song if you think it is appropriate.
  Your mother probably had a favorite poem or song that would fit with the theme of loss.  If you wish, you can perform it.  A person’s artistic preferences act as a window into their soul: through the lens of art, you can truly see the person.

Giving the Speech

Actually giving the speech can be difficult.  To make it easier, write the main points on index cards.  You can carry these with you to the podium, and small prompts of text can help make sure you say everything you want to.

You may feel like planning ahead removes some of the emotion.  It doesn’t; it will still be painful to read your eulogy and the speech will still be heartfelt.  If you go to the podium without preparing a speech, you probably will lose the thread of your thought and miss something that you wanted to say.  Preparing before-hand doesn’t make the emotion any less true, it just helps you make a better speech.

Try to keep the eulogy fairly short.  It is a painful experience for both the speaker and the audience, so don’t make it any longer than it has to be.

Eulogies are Painful for All

The audience feels the same way as you do about the deceased.  It is understandable that you are emotional.  Don’t let that stop you from planning your speech.  And don’t think you are incapable of it: in your heart, you know how to write a eulogy for a mother.

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